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Feedback with Empathy and Growth in Mind

Written by Eric Sigel | Jun 10, 2024 12:00:31 AM

Twinning Strategy welcomed Collette Revere of Open360.com on Fridays Episode 24: Changing the Game--Empowering Growth through Direct Feedback. Feedback is tricky business in the corporate world (or any other space). People don't like to feel that they are wrong especially when it is tied up with the financial well-being, career growth, and identity. In Carol Dweck's formulation, it is a mindset orientation--I am learning to do something better and improving from my mistakes. But this is far easier said than done in real life. In part this is because, as Jeff has often pointed out, that DiSC D style (dominance-based leaders) have been running the show and pushing us in their direction. In other words, not only 'my way or the highway', but you better be good at it without training, and you better treat your reports the way your boss treats you. Collette describes the introduction of hierarchical, authoritarian styles in the 1970s with their foundations in WWI and WWII military 'ranking'. But, as she explains, the costs to maintain these old, outdated systems go beyond just the expense (think  December shutdown to get reviews done), but also in the extraordinary opportunity cost created in demoralizing, stressing out, and stifling employees. 

My own corporate 'PTSD' in part comes from the constant feeling of being judged, often on criteria that I was not privy to (one boss I had failed to have a single one-on-one or review with me  in the 2 years I worked for them). Many work or have worked in corporate environments where we become constantly anxious that any one screw-up will have lasting impact on our careers. A bad presentation I gave weeks into a job was still be held against me and impacting my confidence by the time I left the company several years later. Do we need to live this way? Collette believes we don't. She is building a system that provides growth and career-development oriented feedback with a team of co-workers at levels up and down to help provide the information that will encourage healthier workplace dynamics. 

How do we break the cycle? Collette says, the organization has to 'blink first'. Google's study around a decade ago determined that psychological safety is the most important predictor of success and innovation. People need agency to do their jobs and to opt-in to the conversation about growth rather than have it forced down their throats. Companies, for all kinds of legitimate reasons, are hyper-focused on productivity and the bottom line. Co-workers are waiting with 'knives out' to pounce on any mistake in order to grab whatever they can get. From the point of view a few steps back, this sounds like a really bad strategy. Let's expect people to do their best while fighting each other over limited resources. This is a false narrative. There is plenty opportunity left on the table while people are off fighting over scraps on the floor. We can see errors as learning opportunities. As Collette points out we can examine our role and relationship to situations even when the obvious reaction is to point fingers. We can only change our reaction (R) in the Event (E) + Reaction (R) = Outcome (O) equation. Unless you are working in a company staffed with unicorns (watch the video), there is room for everyone to grow. We short-change our companies when we decide a bumpy run on the first major presentation to an external client of someone's career is the best they can ever do. I got over it, but only after leaving the corporate grind to go independent--I now get positive feedback on presentations to companies all the time, and have a publicly accessible podcast that is booked with guests out for months--it can't be that bad. But in the end of the day, that fixed mindset judgement meant an untapped resource that took a more open-minded boss at the end of that job about two 1 hour 1-on-1 meetings to fix. How many times has this story played out? and at what cost to your organization.